Life is Sometimes Ironic, is it?

This morning my adik (the huge one lah..not THAT one) told me that it is ironic for a person like me to question the Australians and criticise their culture and societal practices while I'm taking an Australian degree programme. Then I told him that life is sometimes an irony and there's no definite answer to every single aspect in life.

How this argument started? Well, I told him that LV is in the same company as Moet and Chandon, one of the world's most famous champagne. Then he went on with his whole 'Champagne is not a champagne if it's not Champagne' theory and feeling irritated, I told him that the French surrendered in almost every war they went to (got that from The Nanny =p) and the French has this insane obsession over their authenticity and their inventions. He then became defensive about the French and told me that if I am taking a programme of a different culture, we have to accept, love and respect their culture. It's only that or you don't take the programme at all, or else I am contradicting myself.

I know the argument was pretty unnecessary and we are okay now. We quarel but we will be friends again after an hour or so. Thats what I love about our brotherhood. But I just want him to understand that in life, not everything is like maths where the answer is definite most of the time. (The irony here is that he's not even good in maths) Sometimes in life, we make contradicting decisions because circumstances make us do so. Seriously, if our Malaysian universities and colleges are in par with the ones in the Ivy Leagues, who would give a damn about going to Australia, UK and the US for their education? And if our country provides us with the sufficient room for professionals and experts to practice their fields of expert, who would want to find opportunities to migrate somewhere where the pasture is greener?



Yea. It might sound superficial for getting an overseas degree so that you can get better job opportunities in future. Life is not all about a good career and money. But sometimes the society teaches us like that; to be alert and prepare and equip yourself to adapt into a different environment, make yourself available for various opportunities so that you will not end up begging for food. Yea, that's why we spend tens of thousands extra to get an ang-moh degree, but that does not mean I must suck up to them. I would like to critically think about life sometimes to find the meaning of what I'm doing but does not mean I am not respecting or I am contradicting what I have chosen to do.

Maybe I shouldn't have told him that. It sounded like I'm trying to stuff things into him that's not matching his personality, but then again, I just want him to understand. Well, it's amazing how LV and Moet & Chandon brought about such a fiery conversation. No wonder they worth thousands. Sigh

I Want to Age Gracefully

I used to hear the elders and the middle-age in my church proclaiming that their inner youth triumphs over their physical age. 'I may be 52 but deep inside, I'm 2.5..i mean 25". Living in denial? Maybe, but that drove them to do marvelous things sometimes we young people think we are too tired for.



No! Not this...well, maybe but that's not my point. I sometimes get upset over young people whinning about being tired and 'too old' for certain things. They would casually say 'This is your time to shine. Our days are over. We are old, you are young. Go ahead' while they are only 30. Is this insane? You are barely balding! And your freaking hormones are still raging..I believe. And they will go on about how tiring is their job and how they have no enthusiasm over things after so much of work.

At 30, some young people are out there achieving great measures, creating social networking sites like Facebook and try to make Google a big player on the world wide web. In other churches, young people are constantly reinventing music for worships and activities for young people but for some people I know, all they want to do is just have a good-old 9 hours of sleep. I know work sucks all the energy out of you but isn't there room for some activities young people like to enjoy?



I dunno. Go paragliding, skydiving, jump like the indian men above (insert Aimee's yelling), go produce a short film on Starbucks or something. Do something outrageous in life for a change. We don't get to be 30 forever. You are only 19 and 29 once! You know, it is tough to get some of my friends to do radical things without hearing them whine. Sigh. Is youth an overrated term now? Is youth a fictional character in Disney cartoons? (Well, come to think of it, Cinderella doesn't age. She looks the same in Cinderella 1,2 and 3. What's wrong with these people?)

When I enter my 30s, I really hope I can still do crazy things without whining. Seriously. Ask me out to bungee jump and I'll say 'Let's Go!'.

Evening At The Park

You know how good my brother is when it comes to pestering. He can use from puppy eyes to provocative words to get you into a mood you never thought you would put yourself into. He managed to get me jogging (by teasing my laziness in achieving my resolution of self-makeover) and for some reason, O bought it.

Getting to the park with my camera phone (which is undergoing surgery now in phone ICU for keypad-related illness) made me realise how the settings can make a picture look a few times nicer. People can just randomly pick a lousy place for a photoshoot, change the settings of the camera and viola, you look as if you are shooting at the plains in United Kingdom while you are just in Ulu Kelang. We've been duped!



Anyway, jogging was alright...Yi Hui went missing after 2 rounds and I assumed he met someone hot and made out in the plains somewhere. He told me he went some other place to jog but I still stick to my assumption. haha. But it was painful at the end. I pushed myself......erm while jogging too much till my leg muscles hurt like mad. T.T I walked like grandma Yetta for a day I think.



You know, after my kawans and I met the other day for lunch, I told myself that I want to be a charming person with substance. (not the drugs ah!) I realised that many things in life that I did not put my full effort in doing them. Like the guitar, I only practice when I remember to, I only work out when I am encouraged to but gave up after a few weeks. I always thought of reading more books but I don't take the effort to drive to Book Xcess and get some. I always want to learn how to dress better but take no effort in reading about fashion and got tryout clothes to check out my right fit and size. I have ranted about this a million times but I am still in the same pedestal I used to be.



I do hope that jogging will be my first step. Yea, it's pretty painful towards the end but I believe it worths. I dunno but when it comes to the age of 21, I feel like I must do something to make myself accomplished, knowing that people are expecting us to be grown-up and capable in doing everything right. Maybe my motivation is wrong, I dunno.



Oh yea. This is the video of my last year's competition. If you watch till the end you can see Angelin's back. hehe. Enjoy.

I should start working out again. I've stopped after being caught up with assignments. And for some reason, my flu and phlegm stayed for three week. I really don't know why. Am I going to die, Aimee? If yes, I will leave you my phone...and the SLK...wait, that's yours.

I sometimes wish determination is something we can jab into our system. Though I am not fond the syringe, I still like that feeling compared to looking at my flabby abs and my just-about-to-grow-bigger-than-a-house-rat biceps looking like an overfed hamster. It's not that I'm vain or conceited or superficial but (I've said this a gazillion times) I want to nice body but I'm just eother too lazy or too tired to get one. I always thought that I can achieve this if I join some fitness club or something but if I'm too lazy, what's the point.

I am satisfied with my look, don't worry. I am just blur..and blank. I don't feel like doing anything nowadays. If you let me spend 1 whole week at home watching the Nanny and play The Sims 2, I am fine with that. Maybe I should sports. I dunno. Oh yea, if determination comes in jabs, tell me. Then I can go get a vaccine for my laziness. Sigh.

Old School Humour

Fine. Maybe not old school, but I find The Nanny very amusing and insanely funny. There isn't an episode where I won't laugh out loud. I wonder why I didn't notice this show when I was young.



I've been watching this so much till I stay up late for my assignments. Gosh. I still have loads to do.

I finally understand why so many uncles and aunties love to karaoke during weddings (Yes. Our ears will normally yell in pain and even go on a riot if we choose to endure the off-pitch serenades) I know Aimee will yell 'the hell' if I say this but, karaoke is really fun.



Yea. I actually abandoned Aimee and her friend last two weeks for 4 hours of karaoke when she wants to give her family, friends, secret boyfriend(s) and Beethoven a surprise. When you are locked in a room with 15 people and a huge karaoke machine in front of you, and when you are told that the walls are sound proof, you have all the reason in the world to expose the William Hung in you. No one cares whether you are croaking like a toad. We'll just laugh about it at the end of the day.



I realise that many times in life, I care too much about what people think about me. I care too much whether I am named a weirdo by my peers. I care too much about what people will tell me when I sing off pitch. And because of these, I fail to perform my best in every single thing I do. I became more and more nervous about every single detail of my life and I begin to lose grip on what I used to be good at. Or I became better in one area only to realise that I forgot my passion and the simplest rule of the matter.



To make things worse, I start to feel lonely too. Though I just chatted with my close kawans, I still miss them. And though I tried to make new friends, I still feel lonely. I just cannot find the connection. It turns out that body-building buddy and me having nothing else to talk about after that one long converstaion we had in the cafeteria. Sigh. Maybe it's just me. I feel blank nowadays. It's like my brain refuse to think anything or feel anything. I feel like a walking robot with flesh glued on me sometimes.

To Angelin and Aimee: Are you sure we should move in together when we start working? I think I'm becoming more clingy as I age..or more annoying, I dunno. T.T

Human beings are funny creatures. As strong or stern they are, little things can trigger and melt his heart. Flushing away all sadness and sometimes, little and insignificant things carry an enormous amount meaning to a person.

Be it a self-made card from afar (I call it the haute-couture card to match the sender's love for ANTM) or the 'leng chai' greeting via MSN, they made my day today and I can at least temporarily put aside my worries for a while for tonight's activity in church.



What am I worrying about? I have to come up with a television programme proposal for my 1500-word assignment. I am choosing either to propose a melodrama about TV production and the drama and chaos behind the prouction of a programme or a variety programme incorporating the latest youth cultures. The former is an adaptation of a Korean drama but it does fit the most important part of the assignment (to produce a programme that will make people think and learn something from it) while the latter is a fresh idea but does not really fit the thinking part. Sigh.