Security

I believe when humanity start giving a damn about psychology, counseling and shrinks, the word 'insecurity' had seen the silver lining of its existence in the English dictionary. We all know how insecurity brought about both the type of people we hate and we worship. Insecurities bred defensive punks who can easily start a civil war with you when you step on their tails or people whom you can't get a word of of their mouth because they are too afraid to be judged by what they utter. Another species that insecurities asexually bred is vanity, I believe. And humanity worships the vanity of celebrities who spent millions on the clothes and thousands on their hair and another thousand to cut 10 years off their face. But for annoying people around us who are self-conceited by dolling up and camwhore with their camera phones, we secretly wish to stifle them with our RM10 pillow.

Haha. Insecurities...



But sometimes security isn't the best thing one can hope for. We all like the inevitable, the mould that makes us feel safe, the feeling of steadiness and the guarantee of what we invest in. If we talk about marriage, yea. Women, find someone who can give you security....But yesterday I realised security sometimes limit us from going further. People today would like to find a job that can secure their monthly pay for their BMW installment...and to eat in LaFite...only to realise that they have missed out on what they can achieve by pursuing their dreams and interest. Security had limit me from going to the next level with Him. Security makes us reluctant to let go of something that can hinder us from advancing because it feel so good to hold on to it. Security hold us back from attempting a risk, so that we will not lose out if things fail. In Christianity, worship is to honour and experience the presence of God, but I am so busy trying to fit everything into the mould that I fail to feel His presence around me.

I think deep inside, I am afraid to feel unsteady. Maybe that's why I can't let go of certain things in my life. Maybe that's why I still can't swim, because letting go gives you risk of drowning. I really want to let go...I am trying to.