Everytime when my semester break ends, I couldn't help looking back what I have done for the past 2 months. I know. People do that all the time. Even when they are 50, they will start looking back, wondering whether their lives will be better if they marry sexy Penny or Peter the hunk who plays the guitar. People say it's gay to look back and ponder on what you have already done. It's bolder to just go ahead with what lies ahead. You might rip Miranda Kerr off Orlando Bloom and make her your second wife or vice versa...... Delusional
I love my holidays this time around. The previous one made me so eager to start college asap but this one, I hope it lingers. Yea, I enjoyed it. Very much, in fact. I have bounced back from the dark times of my spiritual life, then there's Penang and the other makan-makan trip that I end up oversleeping and right now, I am still waiting for answers on whether I should stay back for the ministries that I have heart on or fly over to Australia for my final year, which had been my dream since I started college. It's funny how things can change overtime and as much as I hate to admit it, those people whom I disapprove of for telling me that things might not turn out to be how we wished or planned are actually right for once.
I am starting to realise that the ability to still dream the same dream so many interventions is as good as flying and all the ones in Heroes. No. I have not given up on my dreams but when things around you change and you are influenced or attracted to different things, your dreams might change too. Before this, I wanted to win all the movie awards available in the industry. Golden Globe, Oscars, Berlin, Cannes, Venice, Sundance..etc. It's an honour and indeed a glory as I believe no one, or not many filmmakers actually have all those awards in their trophy cabinets. But now, all I want to do is just to influence lives..and change them. I want to help young people to get the right perception of life and I want them to know Jesus. I am not into honours anymore, because I think that it is more significant to mankind if you are able to bring change to the society- not just any change but a positive one.
My best kawan told me she's concerned that I might not be happy for not chasing my dreams for the sake of others, but she also said that whatever path I choose, I have her support. Thank you, kawan for believing in me...and don't worry. I'll be happy..because I know He will give me the best things and my life, I am living for a purpose.
2 comments:
pin, you know we'd be supportive of you no matter which path you choose to walk down. i might not have the same beliefs you have about hopes, the future, religion or whatever, but you are my friend and that's all that matters.
remember that cycle of ANTM where a medical student joined and tyra and co. asked why did she give up medicine for a shot at modeling. she said she can do medicine even when she is 30 or 40. but this might be her only shot at antm.
that may sound like completely unrelated to your problem but think about it. god doesn't disappear from you in another year or two if you do not fulfill his vision RIGHT NOW.
but your dream of finishing your studies might. but then again maybe studying abroad is not all it's cut out to be, so staying might be some kind of blessing in disguise.
i am so ambiguous i know im not helping at all! -_____- sorry lah pal. friends do not grab other friends by the throat and tell them what to do.
think it over and if you ever need someone to talk to, just call me. call home if you wanna save money haha because im HOME nowadays. oversleeping everyday too :p
T.T kawan..thank you. thank you for supporting whatever i end up choosing. i know i need to be patient and have faith with whatever He wants me to choose at the end of the day. but i'm glad to hear that at the end of the path i chose, you will be one of those people who will applaud me for running on it. =)
haha. okay. i will call your house phone. hehe.i hope i won't oversleep for my class tomorrow. hahaha
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