Me : Should I get a Twitter account?
My brother: What for? You're not famous also...If you want to twit so much, go play with Faceboo status..

T.T if I ever change my facebook status every 5 minutes, Angelin and Aimee will disown me..So I shan't....

My ma always say that we cannot compare ourselves with those who are privilege enough to own an iPhone at 15 coz we are of different background. She said it's not good comparing...(but back then in high school when I didn't do well in class, she will compare me with the geniuses) And I know that she's right at some point. Excessive comparing of what you have with others will only make you less thankful with what you have.

But when I read this blog I actually wish that I am a popular blogger...Then I can be one of them, enjoying the scenic views of Monte Carlo, sip good champagne and have great food without having to worry about paying my tabs after splurging.

Then again, ma told me not to compare, so I shan't...I start to sound like Forrest Gump...

Everytime when my semester break ends, I couldn't help looking back what I have done for the past 2 months. I know. People do that all the time. Even when they are 50, they will start looking back, wondering whether their lives will be better if they marry sexy Penny or Peter the hunk who plays the guitar. People say it's gay to look back and ponder on what you have already done. It's bolder to just go ahead with what lies ahead. You might rip Miranda Kerr off Orlando Bloom and make her your second wife or vice versa...... Delusional

I love my holidays this time around. The previous one made me so eager to start college asap but this one, I hope it lingers. Yea, I enjoyed it. Very much, in fact. I have bounced back from the dark times of my spiritual life, then there's Penang and the other makan-makan trip that I end up oversleeping and right now, I am still waiting for answers on whether I should stay back for the ministries that I have heart on or fly over to Australia for my final year, which had been my dream since I started college. It's funny how things can change overtime and as much as I hate to admit it, those people whom I disapprove of for telling me that things might not turn out to be how we wished or planned are actually right for once.

I am starting to realise that the ability to still dream the same dream so many interventions is as good as flying and all the ones in Heroes. No. I have not given up on my dreams but when things around you change and you are influenced or attracted to different things, your dreams might change too. Before this, I wanted to win all the movie awards available in the industry. Golden Globe, Oscars, Berlin, Cannes, Venice, Sundance..etc. It's an honour and indeed a glory as I believe no one, or not many filmmakers actually have all those awards in their trophy cabinets. But now, all I want to do is just to influence lives..and change them. I want to help young people to get the right perception of life and I want them to know Jesus. I am not into honours anymore, because I think that it is more significant to mankind if you are able to bring change to the society- not just any change but a positive one.

My best kawan told me she's concerned that I might not be happy for not chasing my dreams for the sake of others, but she also said that whatever path I choose, I have her support. Thank you, kawan for believing in me...and don't worry. I'll be happy..because I know He will give me the best things and my life, I am living for a purpose.

Security

I believe when humanity start giving a damn about psychology, counseling and shrinks, the word 'insecurity' had seen the silver lining of its existence in the English dictionary. We all know how insecurity brought about both the type of people we hate and we worship. Insecurities bred defensive punks who can easily start a civil war with you when you step on their tails or people whom you can't get a word of of their mouth because they are too afraid to be judged by what they utter. Another species that insecurities asexually bred is vanity, I believe. And humanity worships the vanity of celebrities who spent millions on the clothes and thousands on their hair and another thousand to cut 10 years off their face. But for annoying people around us who are self-conceited by dolling up and camwhore with their camera phones, we secretly wish to stifle them with our RM10 pillow.

Haha. Insecurities...



But sometimes security isn't the best thing one can hope for. We all like the inevitable, the mould that makes us feel safe, the feeling of steadiness and the guarantee of what we invest in. If we talk about marriage, yea. Women, find someone who can give you security....But yesterday I realised security sometimes limit us from going further. People today would like to find a job that can secure their monthly pay for their BMW installment...and to eat in LaFite...only to realise that they have missed out on what they can achieve by pursuing their dreams and interest. Security had limit me from going to the next level with Him. Security makes us reluctant to let go of something that can hinder us from advancing because it feel so good to hold on to it. Security hold us back from attempting a risk, so that we will not lose out if things fail. In Christianity, worship is to honour and experience the presence of God, but I am so busy trying to fit everything into the mould that I fail to feel His presence around me.

I think deep inside, I am afraid to feel unsteady. Maybe that's why I can't let go of certain things in my life. Maybe that's why I still can't swim, because letting go gives you risk of drowning. I really want to let go...I am trying to.

Three Cheers for Rojak and Thankfulness..

Aimee finally eats...after weeks of studying for her finals...haha

They say green tea is good for digestion, but the wonders of it is still a myth to me. Well, it's not that your body will send you an SMS telling you that your digestive system is working really fine or your stomach Twitter you, saying 'Thanks for the green tea...I feel better now..' Maybe I should go for a huge eating row one day and drink a jug of green tea after that. I'll see how long after I'll start pooping my buttocks off.




You know, happiness comes in small packages sometimes; in a bowl of cendol with pulut and a plate of rojak with extra tofu that you savour with your friends. Laughter will just burst out when you think and talk about how you overslept and the usually oversleeping one is in time and got up much earlier. haha. Or the ecstatic of knowing that you scored well for the last essay you did for last semester. I don't need to compare myself with others to put myself on top of the world, or be with the 'it' group that parties like animals in Singapore Zoo. All I need is just to be thankful that my day turned out well, and I have fun memories to cherish.

And I ta-pau the rojak...because it was good..and also because I found out that my blood pressure is quite low...need to eat to bring it to 120...Nolah. I'm just greedy.

Upon knowing that my unofficial, secret rival of the past got married at this age where we just start to discuss about our future career and how we might not go back for reunion, I can't help but wondering that we are all grown up and receiving such news will be as staple as potatoes to the Europeans.

She's this girl whom I went to the same high school with whom my mum always compare with when I was in form 1. My mum will told me how she got 7As, got into 1 Bestari (It was the top class back then) and how intelligent she is. Today, when I know that she got married and starting a family at such a young age, I am tempted to feel proud of myself and yell 'You see!!! I am better off now, isn't it!!!!' but I can't. I know that I probably get the opportunity to achieve what I want compared to her, but it's just evil to secretly be proud of yourself and call her a loser.

Angelin and I spent almost a whole day talking about how when we grow up, people will start measuring us with the societal thermometer of success. Do we have the 6Cs, how much do you earn a month, is the company you work in a listed company and how big is your car? And 7 years from now, there'll be a reunion organised by the kiasu ones, aiming to test whether anyone can top their latest Volvo they just bought by climbing the corporate ladder. Maybe we were thinking too much, but there is always a possibility. Seriously, we are worried that we might not get to earn enough for our living, coz though money's not everything, we still need them to survive. But we are okay to know that we still have hope in our lives though we don't earn as much.

In fact, we'll be happy because we know that we have chosen a path not because it provides us a lucrative lifestyle, but something we enjoy doing. So what if we don't get rich by the age 30 for bailing out on direct selling? So what if you people earn RM10,000 a month while we only have RM3,500? Angelin's okay with her old Mini while I am fine with the latest Saga. I guess it's okay with living the life we are happy and comfortable with in different fashions. So, if my unofficial, secret rival is happy with getting married at 21, I wish her all the very best in life and may she has a blissful and blessed marriage life ahead. And when the reunion thing comes true, I'll just play with her kids...or watch a sad movie with Angelin and Aimee through a mp4 or something. haha.

Alone

Lying, thinking
Last night
How to find my soul a home

Where water is not thirsty
And bread loaf is not stone
I came up with one thing
And I don't believe I'm wrong
That nobody,
But nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.

There are some millionaires
With money they can't use
Their wives run round like banshees
Their children sing the blues
They've got expensive doctors
To cure their hearts of stone.
But nobody
No, nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Now if you listen closely
I'll tell you what I know
Storm clouds are gathering
The wind is gonna blow
The race of man is suffering
And I can hear the moan,
'Cause nobody,
But nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone

This is Maya Angelou's 'Alone'. I randomly clicked her name when I was trying to log into my email account. I am far from a noob when it comes to literature but this poem in a way touched my heart. Yea. No matter how strong we are or we want to be, we can never make it out there alone.

Sir, You Got It All Wrong...

I finally submitted my Malaysian Studies project, and presented on my topic. My lecturer was all praises after I presented, saying that everyone should imitate me and telling the whole class that he gave me 9.8 out of 10 marks for presentation. As flattering as those praises may be, the concoction of feelings in my heart is what makes me uneasy now.

Honestly, I only spent about a week to do the project and my presentation slides were done like an hour before the presentation...fine, maybe two hours before it but it was totally last minute. He was telling the whole class how much effort I probably have invested on my project as he browse thorough my project, saying that it is probably a two-months work. Deep down, I feel guilty because I really don't deserve those praises. I really wanted to tell him or email him to say that 'take back those praises...I don't deserve them..I did it last minute'. I actually thought that this is one of the worst projects I have ever done, not because of the topic but the fact that I didn't try my best in doing it. Sigh.

I seriously don't know how to react to this. I was thinking maybe my work stood out because I am classmates with a group of people whose English level are not so good and who don't give a damn about this shit. Maybe if I were to be in the same batch as the Pre-U students, my work will probably be crappy.

Then again, I am thankful that I have finished it and actually be praised for doing so.

We Think Too Much, Don't We?

Angelin took this picture. When she make it as a professional photographer one day and organise an exhibition, I'll support her by going there 3 times...even if it's in London or Johannesburg. hehe

Of all the cliches people like to copy and paste into their lifestyle, thinking out of the box is the one people seldom make fun off no matter how overrated it sounds. Hey. Thinking out of the box can catapult you to your dream of owning a condo at Hartamas (It's the Malaysian Orange County coz some producers made a drama like The OC with Hartamas as their backdrop), driving your dream Ferrari in the streets of KL that somehow make the raging stallions look like a sick donkey and sip those martinis you like at fancy parties where you meet local celebs and get yourself hooked up and possibly, another score!

That, of course, is not the only mould of successful life (and I don't want it...except for the condo part though) but hey, it sure pays to think out of the box.



I realise that we at most times opt to be constrained by human wisdom, human ways of organising and the moulds that we make ourselves for security sake. Even when we choose to be creative, our creativity is within the compounds of the limit our brain can take us to. Even myself, when I expect certain things to occur in my life, I expect them to be how I imagine them to be or how I perceive those matters turn out. But in this world, greater things will happen, even if it is out of our imagination or knowledge of it.

As smart and intelligent human beings can be, we are still limiting ourselves with the theories on the book, or the ones carved on stones. Miracles happen and there's really no need to explain why and how they happened. Why is there a constant urge to explain every single occurences in the world? So that they can be published in hard covers and be sold at RM299.90 with discounts up to 40% when no one buys it? If it's the cure for cancer and AIDS, by all means. Humanity needs them, but does it matter if the world is created by someone of higher authority instead of a product of Big Bang? We are destroying it anyway, so why bother?

In many cases I have seen how I have failed to bring any significance differences in the ministries I serve in at church and I believe the main reason is because I let my own version of organisation or wonderful works limit what He can do to bring changes. I expect changes to be how I expect them to be bt the truth is, things don't always happen that way. He is not limited to our own imagination and expectation, is He?

So now I am going to sit back and not worry or fear too much about life. Hey. It's not that by worrying I'll add another day to my life. Knowing that He holds my future, I shall just live everyday the fullest! (This is also another cliche, right? haha)

It Is Good For You

God gave men choices to decide how they should live their life. Or else we'll be like zombies who automatically offer ourselves to be pastors once we popped out of our mother womb. But, the irony that dwells around this believe is that despite such freedom to choose, we human beings are not capable in doing so many things that many people of the new era wants to do.

Well, it's an inevitable impossibility for us to be asexuals though many would definitely love that. And as much as the idea of 30 hours a day sound extremely perfect for us procrastinators, we know the end is near when such thing happens. And no matter how we hate our memories, we are incapable of erasing them. We can hide them somewhere and live in denial but they are still there dweling in our brains.

I love this irony.



I just finish watching Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. People in that movie are so eager to erase their sad memories off their brain so that they can move on and live a new life. Well, there's nothing wrong with that, but for someone who has a mix of both good and nad memories, I think bad memories are as good as ginseng to our body.



As bad as they may be, unhappy memories helped shaped who I am today. Failures and humiliation taught me that life needs those lemons to toughen you up. I would never learn to be careful with my responsibility if I was not scrutinised and interrogated in front of a committee meeting that made me walk off after that in tears. Running up the stage to realise that I ran up too soon to claim the prize that was not mine made me realise that I need to be more careful and to always dig your ears when you have time. And of course, the cliche statement of failures lead to success is not an Ancient myth carved on stones as many people had proved it right.



Seriously, there are no memories that I want to erase. The happy ones drive me to live happily everyday, hoping for the best to come. The bad ones remind me that if such things come again, it means it's time to sharpen yourself and adjust whatever is not right in you.

What A Trip

The leaf fell off the tree right after Angelin asked me 'Aren't you taking any pictures?' and when I looked at it, I knew it would be a nice thing to shoot with my camera phone. Such randomness is what make life so interesting sometimes. I hope such randomness comes to me often..or it'll be better if I have the curiousity to seek and capture those wonderful moments. When I was holding Angelin's DSLR at Batu Feringghi last Sunday, I realised that I have no idea what to shoot. I even whined to Angelin 'I don't know what to shoot'. It's a God made plan that I still have not received my dream DSLR.



There are not Godiva, but Aimee. Aimee gave me this box of chocolate called Aimee as my late 21st birthday gift so that I can remember her all the time. Gosh. I think she's secretly in love with me =p....Woman. You are taken...(ahahahahha. Gosh. Muka tembok moment) It's things like this that put a smile on your face, and reminds you to savour every bite of it because your friend probably used his/her lunch money to get you this (Yea, it's too exagerrating but in Aimee's case, skipping lunch is almost becoming a culture..Eat Up, my friend. hehe) Gosh, I just took six like a starved Indian kid. I better slow down.


Angelin said I could go to jail for this.

I miss those days where I innocently go to a place without worries, knowing that my next moments are already planned and all I have to do is just have fun. I tried to get that feeling for this trip actually, because my last Penang trip was almost like that. As much as I like randomness, I am afraid that things will go chaotic and people ended up being unhappy. Maybe I thought about it too much sometimes and let it robbed the joy of it.



But I thank God for the scenic views and the moments he gave my anxiety a rest so that I can enjoy my time at the beach. I didn't take many pictures though throughout the trip but with these, I am satisfied. The taste of the cendol, the laksa and the burger that I craved and loved are still vivid.



I sometimes wish such things come in a book or something..or like a litmus paper. Then I can just read about it with my taste buds feedng those wonderful tastes. Or licking those flavours out of a litmus paper and carrying them around so that I can taste tehm whenever I want. But then again, such convenience will make us appreciate such wonders less.

No More Of Those 'I'm Not Good Enough' Rubbish

Top: G2000 (Adik aku punya)
Tie: My Tie Shop
Trousers: Durban (Very uncle-looking lah!)
Shoes: Obermain man heels
*Underwear: Maroon Renoma sports bikini (upon special request. ahahahhahah)
Do I look good enough to eat?

I am out to live differently now. The old me used to be very insecure with my big head being so out of proportion to my body, who is still not the model-like one with no thanks to my laziness to work out. I was also very concerned with how people will look and think of me. I don't want to sound desperate, don't want to be deemed 'trying to hard', definitely not the the evil one, or someone who is hypocrite. That is why I always try my best to shape myself to fit how people would want me to be. If I were a Pokemon, I will be like Ditto. That is why I am so afraid to call my friend whom introduced me to work at his place to check out about my next interview coz I was so afraid to sound desperate.


I went to this beach-themed lounge last Friday and it was awesome. The ambience was so soothing, so relaxing. You will really feel like you are at some beach resort and the best part is, this building was an old, Anglo-Saxon-ish house that was pimped.

But then again, I realise that such paranoia and insecurities are worthless if the people you try to be are not the ones who cares about you. If I tolerate or be someone else for someone who really treasures your presence, I am totally fine with it because it is worthy to be done so. Because I know they will do the same too sometimes whenever necessary. Also, being like that had stopped me from doing so many other things that I could possibly do but missed them just because of the fear to embarass myself.


The cover of the menus are self-made I think. They are all different and they look like the art work we used to do when we were at primary school where we colour leaves with water colours and stamp them on sugar paper.

I know that I can never please everyone, so I decide to be who I think I should and supposed to be. I know that my fears and insecurities had kept me from loads of opportunities, mso now I will not miss it for the world. So what if I sound desperate? I am just concerned with the job. I want to know what's the result so that I can move on, find other jobs if I'm not accepted. You know I was so afraid what people might think of me till I chose not to do anything and wait. Just wait for someone to do something or make a move so that I can go on with the paths that was picked by others. I really should not live like this.


I had a virgin mojito. It was good. I think it's because of the brown sugar they added to it. It looked like some glass filled with water and grass right? Coz they put loads of mint and my camera wasn't good enough to capture it. ahahahhahaha.

Remember I had this post previously about over-achieving people making us feel inferior? I shall not care about them anymore. I was so disturbed by it till it gave me pressure to do something significant. The thought of being 21 and the world will verbally kill me if I don't achieve anything or act maturely at this age. I forgot what I used to tell myself-that success is self-defined, and the road to success varies. It's funny how something that was supposed to encourage you to dream and go beyond our limits turn out to be burden and pressure that made you fell like a loser.



I seriously don't want to live like that anymore. I really have to think what matters to me most and what will be good for me and the people I truly love and care. Of course, Him too. And the next time I go to Palate Palette, I will make sure I go with the ones who really treasures me =) At least we can revisit our beach vacation moments...minus the beach..minus the sea..and minus the fried squids.

All These Shall Stop!!

One phone call, some deep thoughts and a blog entry in my best kawan's blog later, I have decided to stop trying my best to please everyone around me anymore. No more thinking about how people will think of me. Now I will just live for myself, for God, for the people who truly cares for me and my hopes and dreams. Tell you all more about it later. And I found out this great hang out spot that we all can go at night when you leng luis come back nanti. hehe

Le Lookbook pic...
Top from Samuel & Kevin (2 for RM59.90. I have another in blue)
Shorts given by my dad's client.
Shoes from Bata (I washed it yesterday and it's now green T.T)

I have 2 months break but I have no idea what to do with it. Those people from Starbucks have not called me for the second interview. I think it's because I answered Pan Mee instead of Green Tea Soy Latte when thy asked me what's my favourite food. T.T

I thought about making a list but you know me with lists. Make them but never follow them. I thought of going somewhere for another interview again. Or stay at home to read...(tried that last time. FAILED) Maybe I should go pick up a hobby....Pole dancing? Candle-making? Take more lookbook style pictures? Knitting? Scuba diving? Wait. I can't swim.

Maybe I should write a script about a 21 year old trying to make his break productive but failed at the end. Sigh.

But honestly, I am glad that the break is here. I can finally get the break I wanted. For the past few weeks, I emo-ed everyday because I was so tired of the essays. I had no mood to write my essays, I think I crapped my last 2 essays just to get it done with. I really wanted to stay at home and play computer games for the whole day or buy a lot of DVDs and spend my whole morning watching them. I bought Revolutionary Road and my adik told me that it was good, very dramatic. Maybe I should get to that..or the Twilight DVD.

Now I have all the time in the world but there's this pressure to spend it wisely so that I won't end up doing nothing for my break. Maybe I should stop thinking about being productive and just get the rest I need. Just bum around for a while until something comes. Penang trip is coming soon...I just have to earn those cash. Hmm...

Of Yearbooks and Screws

People always say that do not dwell in the past. Move on with our life so that we can the world in a broader perspective. Yea, it's true but when you found out that revisiting your memories can make you laugh out loud and chat with your old schoolmates for hours and hours, you know that trip is worth it.

I went out with Zheng on Sunday night for mamak and we chatted till 1.00am. In between, we saw Alif and Nazrul and Zheng said Nazrul looks hot now. We went on and on about how we enjoyed our high schools and how colleges can never match those days even when we get to be as liberal as we want to. I remember Zheng used to chase after me in school for calling her 'panties break'. I remember how I would join Aimee during recess as her eyes CT-Scans Adrian and Hong Joo. Then we would laugh about it. I remember I used to buy coconut jelly with Angelin and she said that's the tastiest canteen food. Oh, and Ghani and his reverse-parking-with-one-hand and how we became so surprised when we found out that he's getting married. How Salbiah langgar the pole, how we would gossip about Miss Yap scratching her legs and being bitter over her Singaporean-ex.

Being 21, I realise that time really flies. June is just a week away and I don't think I did anything productive yet..except for my assignments. My body is no Hugh Jackman's, I still cannot play a proper song with the guitar, I still have not read the books I borrowed from the library that I photocopied..secretly. I jst went fot my job interview but still need to go for a second one with the store manager. Gosh. Who knows when I'm 31, I realised that I haven't cooked my mum's lunch which I was supposed to cook 10 years ago.

It's this fear of not accomplishing anything within the next few years that scares me. People told me that I'm still 21 and there are still loads of time for me to do great things. But for some reason, I am afraid. Screw those interviews where they feature young people achieving great heighst. Screw the young entrepreneurs awards. Screw those who earned 1 million dollars at the age of 22. Screw Hannah Montana. You are supposed to be in school, not posing for Vanity Fair. And you Jonas Brothers are no angels! You all force fed inferiority in many people's life.

Should I buck up? I dunno. Maybe I should....

I Did Not Lick The Envelope.. I Swear

'For the next 5 minutes, I'm going to party like it's on sale for $19.99'

It came late, but it's ok. Air mails are always delayed. Come to think of it, I seldom receive cards specially mailed to me. Aimee sent me one...Angelin's one just arrived...and there were two to three more by some random people...that's it.

So upon receiving your card kan kawan, I was happy. I love the card so much and laughed when I realised it was a musical card. ahahhahaha

Hope to see you soon...

This Is An Emo Post...Again

I am trying to catch a breath after two weeks of rushing 2 assignments. I really need an escapism; something to get me entertained before I start to work on 2 more essays that are due next week and the week after. I'm watching Sell Out this Saturday. I hope it'll work.

For some reason, I am getting tired of studying this semester. I am not as optimistic about my grades and essays anymore. I realise I always have mental blocks. I cannot write and argue on my essay like how I used to be, like for some reason my reasoning skills and enthusiasm flew out of the window. Where's the push I used to have? I want them back. I feel lost...I remember I used to feel like that last time but I forgot How I get it through last time. Sigh.



Now I finally realise why some people like to take a break in the middle of their studies to do something else they like, then go back to study again. I perceive it will be good for me to go for a singing contest or travel to a few places before I resume my studies. Nice idea, but I cannot afford to do so T.T Angelin ah. I finally understand how you feel. Sigh



Oh yea. I saw this at Sunway Pyramid. I assume it's the tattoo artist punya kereta. Which one, I dunno. hehe.

-Insert Any Snow Patrol's Sad Song-

Just when I think I know what to write for my essay, I realised that I have nothing in my mind. Done with it now but VERY unsure with what I wrote. It's really God's grace if I ever get a C for this subject. T.T

Often life is like that. Just when you know what to do, you are clueless about it when you really need to do it. You think day and night about it, and days later you still have no courage to get it done.

I need to man up a little...

How Well Do You Know Ethan Wong

Who would Ethan rather do?
A. Drew Barrymore
B. Anne Hathaway
C. Miley Cyrus

What do you think he will work as if being a film director fails?
A. Stripper
B. Ice-cream seller
C. Opens a goldfish shop

Do you think Ethan's fat?
A. Yes
B. No
C. What's fat?

Do you think this quiz is ridiculous?
A. Yes
B. Definitely
C. HELL YA!!



If you are busy body enough to go through your friends' activities in Facebook, you will see people making quizes about themselves and how well people know them. If you get all correct kan, this means you really know them kah? I wonder.

Maybe I'm anti-social or something or I'm the weirdo who still loves BSB in the age where Jonas Brothers had stole the hearts of teenage girls and ate them. But what's with the fascination of making a quiz about yourself? I thought looking into the mirror and camwhoring is vain but this is vain kuasa 10. Sigh. Are we in the stage where we have so much time to make such quizes? If ada masa kan, go bela a cat or orang utan! Ish.

Imagine one day kan got such quiz. Which 'WY' are you? The polite WY (this is fictional)? The tight pants WY? The sexually active WY? The religious WY?(This is also fictional) If you know who WY is, I belanja Kit Kat.



Oh yea. My new resolution I made on my birthday is never to be late again. Aimee knows. I am always late, so I will try not to be. And I wished to resemble Jude Law 100%...or Daniel Henney. Ahahahahhahaha. Then I can pick up ladies! ahahahhaha. Joking lah....but if that happens, I don't mind. =p

The Big 21

This year, I want to do something crazy, but I don't know what. Should I go watch a horror film for the first time after 12 years? I dunno.

Sigh. Wish you all were here...

Menari Aje!! Dadadudu

Remember Yi Hui kept telling us that Lady Gaga is Italian when we hang out back then? haha. This is her real name.


Saudara and saudari semua..inilah Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta, the Italian girl Yi Hui been obsessing with nowadays. haha. Where's the Gaga in her name, I dunno. Imagine me being an elctro pop singer one day...


Sir WeeWee!! Or Sir YiYi..Sir PinPin....ahahahahhaha

He told me one joke about her..How do you wake Lady Gaga up when she's sleeping?......Poke-her-face.

??????!!!! -.-"

I Want To Watch This Film

I like watching random movies sometimes. I remember years ago when I randomly watched Chicken Rice War, I loved it and still am right now.



This movie is called Sell Out. A Malaysian comedy and it won an award at last year's Venice Film Festival. Seriously, why do good Malaysian films often delayed it's screening. Normally we'll be the last ones to watch it after the whole world had done talking about it. Censorship board really that busy kah? Then why do movies about love affairs near photocopy machines and cholesterol-driven love stories released so soon leh. Are we Malaysians that naive to be fully influenced by movies kah? Don't we have brains? Sigh. And are we supposed to fall in love over a cup of fresh orange? Are they trying to tell us that? Sigh.

Btw, the director is new in the business. Hmm..How I wish I could be like that one day.

I Need a New BFF...Do I?

Imagine one day when people start posting up videos on Youtube or even produce their own TV shows about finding their new BFF, you know Armageddon is just around the corner.



The newest installment of pop culture tells us that best friends are no longer diamonds in the middle of the sea. You can just randomly pick up rocks from the streets, scrub them into shape and paint them with glossy, million-dollar paint to make it equivalent to jewels. Paris Hilton just ended a TV show called My New BFF where she go around casting girls or people who think they are girls to be her new BFF. Hey. What happened to Nicole Richie? She's not cool anymore after giving birth to Harlow?

Aimee and I once discussed that Paris is actually a smart skank playing the Bimbo blonde card to make millions. Maybe she just want to break into the TV industry, diversifying her influence in a new arena but what is she trying to tell all of us? Can we just find our best friends by having them compete with one another, put on fake masks and act like a drama queen? Even this one?



Don't be deceived by the looks. She looks like a girl but she is a boy. His/her name is Onch. Nah. She didn't win. Some girl named Brittany won.




Why am I so kay poh about people's business? Well, I just don't think it's the right thing to tell people. You cannot get a BFF from a TV show. Not even a celebrity. I thought you only name a person your BFF when he/she was there to cry with you when you are sad, jump around with you when you are ecstatic, comment nothing about matters you are trying to avoid or encourage you to face them when he/she thinks you need to. Someone who's constantly thinking whether they have done enough to be your friend. Someone who is OK with your weaknesses and pardon your habits..maybe sometimes confront you about your bad ones. That's what best friend is right? Am I right? Or is Paris right?

Have we come to the brink of civilisation where we are alright about buying happiness, finding love and friendship through the media and suing parents for the little things they have failed to do? Will my children in future just need to browse through the TV catalogue when they want to get married or fall in love?

I dunno...

Life is Sometimes Ironic, is it?

This morning my adik (the huge one lah..not THAT one) told me that it is ironic for a person like me to question the Australians and criticise their culture and societal practices while I'm taking an Australian degree programme. Then I told him that life is sometimes an irony and there's no definite answer to every single aspect in life.

How this argument started? Well, I told him that LV is in the same company as Moet and Chandon, one of the world's most famous champagne. Then he went on with his whole 'Champagne is not a champagne if it's not Champagne' theory and feeling irritated, I told him that the French surrendered in almost every war they went to (got that from The Nanny =p) and the French has this insane obsession over their authenticity and their inventions. He then became defensive about the French and told me that if I am taking a programme of a different culture, we have to accept, love and respect their culture. It's only that or you don't take the programme at all, or else I am contradicting myself.

I know the argument was pretty unnecessary and we are okay now. We quarel but we will be friends again after an hour or so. Thats what I love about our brotherhood. But I just want him to understand that in life, not everything is like maths where the answer is definite most of the time. (The irony here is that he's not even good in maths) Sometimes in life, we make contradicting decisions because circumstances make us do so. Seriously, if our Malaysian universities and colleges are in par with the ones in the Ivy Leagues, who would give a damn about going to Australia, UK and the US for their education? And if our country provides us with the sufficient room for professionals and experts to practice their fields of expert, who would want to find opportunities to migrate somewhere where the pasture is greener?



Yea. It might sound superficial for getting an overseas degree so that you can get better job opportunities in future. Life is not all about a good career and money. But sometimes the society teaches us like that; to be alert and prepare and equip yourself to adapt into a different environment, make yourself available for various opportunities so that you will not end up begging for food. Yea, that's why we spend tens of thousands extra to get an ang-moh degree, but that does not mean I must suck up to them. I would like to critically think about life sometimes to find the meaning of what I'm doing but does not mean I am not respecting or I am contradicting what I have chosen to do.

Maybe I shouldn't have told him that. It sounded like I'm trying to stuff things into him that's not matching his personality, but then again, I just want him to understand. Well, it's amazing how LV and Moet & Chandon brought about such a fiery conversation. No wonder they worth thousands. Sigh

I Want to Age Gracefully

I used to hear the elders and the middle-age in my church proclaiming that their inner youth triumphs over their physical age. 'I may be 52 but deep inside, I'm 2.5..i mean 25". Living in denial? Maybe, but that drove them to do marvelous things sometimes we young people think we are too tired for.



No! Not this...well, maybe but that's not my point. I sometimes get upset over young people whinning about being tired and 'too old' for certain things. They would casually say 'This is your time to shine. Our days are over. We are old, you are young. Go ahead' while they are only 30. Is this insane? You are barely balding! And your freaking hormones are still raging..I believe. And they will go on about how tiring is their job and how they have no enthusiasm over things after so much of work.

At 30, some young people are out there achieving great measures, creating social networking sites like Facebook and try to make Google a big player on the world wide web. In other churches, young people are constantly reinventing music for worships and activities for young people but for some people I know, all they want to do is just have a good-old 9 hours of sleep. I know work sucks all the energy out of you but isn't there room for some activities young people like to enjoy?



I dunno. Go paragliding, skydiving, jump like the indian men above (insert Aimee's yelling), go produce a short film on Starbucks or something. Do something outrageous in life for a change. We don't get to be 30 forever. You are only 19 and 29 once! You know, it is tough to get some of my friends to do radical things without hearing them whine. Sigh. Is youth an overrated term now? Is youth a fictional character in Disney cartoons? (Well, come to think of it, Cinderella doesn't age. She looks the same in Cinderella 1,2 and 3. What's wrong with these people?)

When I enter my 30s, I really hope I can still do crazy things without whining. Seriously. Ask me out to bungee jump and I'll say 'Let's Go!'.

Evening At The Park

You know how good my brother is when it comes to pestering. He can use from puppy eyes to provocative words to get you into a mood you never thought you would put yourself into. He managed to get me jogging (by teasing my laziness in achieving my resolution of self-makeover) and for some reason, O bought it.

Getting to the park with my camera phone (which is undergoing surgery now in phone ICU for keypad-related illness) made me realise how the settings can make a picture look a few times nicer. People can just randomly pick a lousy place for a photoshoot, change the settings of the camera and viola, you look as if you are shooting at the plains in United Kingdom while you are just in Ulu Kelang. We've been duped!



Anyway, jogging was alright...Yi Hui went missing after 2 rounds and I assumed he met someone hot and made out in the plains somewhere. He told me he went some other place to jog but I still stick to my assumption. haha. But it was painful at the end. I pushed myself......erm while jogging too much till my leg muscles hurt like mad. T.T I walked like grandma Yetta for a day I think.



You know, after my kawans and I met the other day for lunch, I told myself that I want to be a charming person with substance. (not the drugs ah!) I realised that many things in life that I did not put my full effort in doing them. Like the guitar, I only practice when I remember to, I only work out when I am encouraged to but gave up after a few weeks. I always thought of reading more books but I don't take the effort to drive to Book Xcess and get some. I always want to learn how to dress better but take no effort in reading about fashion and got tryout clothes to check out my right fit and size. I have ranted about this a million times but I am still in the same pedestal I used to be.



I do hope that jogging will be my first step. Yea, it's pretty painful towards the end but I believe it worths. I dunno but when it comes to the age of 21, I feel like I must do something to make myself accomplished, knowing that people are expecting us to be grown-up and capable in doing everything right. Maybe my motivation is wrong, I dunno.



Oh yea. This is the video of my last year's competition. If you watch till the end you can see Angelin's back. hehe. Enjoy.